My journey with sleep is not unique, at least based on the anecdotal evidence I’ve collected over coffee chats and ladies wine nights with friends. See if this sounds familiar: (and I recognize the privilege of this experience)
- High school: become super invested in several extracurriculars, take multiple AP courses, work on college and scholarship applications, and try to “make the most of your senior year.” (Sleep schedule: go to bed sometime around midnight when you finish your assignments; wake up groggy at 5:45 or 6 and start the whole process over.
- College: make a bunch of “new best friends” in your freshman dorm and stay up late with all sorts of social activities, sign up for clubs, panic when midterms hit and you realize you’re not prepared, pull a few of all-nighters, take naps during the day to make up for it, and mess up your entire sleep cycle. (Sleep schedule: go to bed sometime around 1-2 AM; wake up at 7 if you have 8 AM classes)
- First job out of undergrad (specifically in consulting): eagerly join your first team and ask how you can go “above and beyond” your role. Offer to take on extra work no one else wants to do. Stay up late to get the extra work done (or in case your manager needs something). You get a reputation for being a strong analyst (awesome!), and other managers start asking you to do work for them, too (building a network!). You work long hours during the week and arrive at Friday night exhausted but determined to make the most of your weekend. (Sleep schedule: work until 10 PM, revenge procrastinate and do personal things until 12 PM, wake up at 6:30)
This was the norm in my social circles, and I didn’t question it. When I got put onto a project that had managers who valued work-life balance (and were on east coast time), my sleep life changed for the better. I finally got on a consistent schedule (10 PM – 6 AM) that gave me 8 hours of sleep and time in the mornings to do the things that are personally important to me before work. Getting 8 hours of sleep consistently made me feel much more energized, alert, and frankly, happy. I was a better friend, colleague, partner, and daughter.
Since then, I’ve tried to prioritize getting enough sleep, which (for me) is 7-8 hours. This worked great during most of 2020 and into early 2021 when we were in various states of lockdown from the covid-19 pandemic. This has been a lot tougher to maintain now that I’ve started business school, which feels a bit like undergrad again. I catch myself feeling lame for leaving the bar “early” or saying no to some social events. But recently, I’ve chatted with classmates who also need “a lot” (read: 7-9 hours, a normal amount) of sleep. And they just own it, and people respect it.
Not everyone needs 7-8 hours of sleep to feel great. For some people, they need a 1-hour workout every day to feel great. Other people need 30 minutes of meditation. Whatever it is, own it. Don’t feel bad about it. Knowing what we need is a sign of self-awareness, and making sure we get what we need is a sign of confidence.
Daily Learnings 