We all have values, whether or not we acknowledge them. Some of our values are conscious, concrete parts of our lives. (“I value spending time with family.”) Some of our values are more subconscious, appearing when they are challenged. (~inner thoughts~ “Ugh, no, I can’t deal with another happy hour right now. I have been with these people all week, and I like them, but I just want to go home and snuggle with my dog” might actually mean, “I value time alone to re-charge.”)
I would argue that our values don’t become real to us until we make a tough choice that honors our values over what is convenient/everyone else is doing/is what we want to do. When push comes to shove, do we honor our values or do we choose what we want in the moment? It’s tough. No one is going to get it right all the time. But by bringing more of our values to our concrete consciousness, we can use them as a filter as we make decisions. And thereby avoid the crummy feeling after you make a decision and later realize it contradicted your values.
Proactive values-based decision-making > reactive guilt when you realize you didn’t uphold your own values.
Further Reading: Colleen Bordeaux’s, “A Simple Method for Designing a Life You Love”
Daily Learnings 