Who Tells You “No” The Most?

Me. I do. Right now, I tell myself, “no” more than anyone else. And I’d guess that I’m not alone in that.

“I don’t want to be annoying. I’m sure they’re really busy.”

“No problem, I’ll let someone else do the part of the project that I actually really wanted to do.”

“I don’t meet all the job requirements for this role I’m super excited about – maybe I’ll apply in a few years once I have more experience.” (kudos if you recognize this example – further reading from HBR here: “Why Women Don’t Apply for Jobs Unless They’re 100% Qualified”)

Sound familiar? Friends, who tells you “no” the most? How might things be different if you go for what you want and let other people tell you “no” if it won’t work out? I bet we’d get more “yeses” than we think.

We need to get comfortable asking for what we want and we need to get comfortable with the fact that the answer might be “no” sometimes. That’s OK. Sometimes the answer will be a “yes” we were hoping for, but didn’t expect.

This realization came from a chat with a mentor, Alyssa Boutelle. I expressed that I didn’t want to be a burden on professional contacts’ calendars with too many networking calls, and she stopped me right there. “Trust that if they don’t have time, they will tell you ‘no.’ They can manage their own boundaries.” Thank you, Alyssa, for helping me make a much-needed mindset shift!